why i love sleeping.

So yeah its coming back to haunt me, i try so hard not to think about it. Maybe its just too much of how i met your mother, but somehow now it all made sense. You never looked that happy when you were with me, neither am i ther first you turn to when you have problems last time. Surely we all got our own best platonic friends, but i have my limits too. Karma bites you back when you least expect it. Just shut up and finish your assignments now, nobody’s gonna take pity on you because you asked for it. 

Better bang the interview on monday, because if you dont get it, summer is going to be another hell for you because you will only feel more horrible not being part of anything like you dont belong anywhere. 

HCNY 2013

I figured that im still human because i am still affected by what you say. I hope you move on and find somebody more deserving. So what if i was at fault? So what if all the tongues will start waging behind my back? So what if people look at me differently now because of what i did? I did it and im willing to suffer because of it. I’ll be fine, i’ll tide over this. Just keep myself occupied in the mean time. Im such an emotional person. I hate it because everytime people talk about relationships, im so sensitive. I guess im a need for affliation person. Yet ironically, i chose to break off affiliations. Life is such a myrid of emotionals i cannot comprehend and figure what is best for me. // Havent been putting a lot of effort in my studies recently, that i need to change. Mid’s in 2 weeks i need to buck up.

Friends, they’ll always be the ones that makes me the most happier and at the same time confused. Well at least for now.

Here’s us at biggy’s house today. 2 people that im glad that stayed with me for a 3 years now. Wher silence isnt awkward, where they know you so well you dont even have to say your thought out, where even hanging out at junjie’s humble home would suffice as a good time. No need for lavish restaurants, no need for nice clothes or pretty photographs because the time spent tgt is the most precious. This, is non-superficial.

I have a lot of thoughts, as usual.

Been meeting some friends more often lately and it really made me wonder why we lead our lives the way we are right now. And, on a sidenote also feel really thankful that we have crossed paths to meet each other this live. Well, for some it just seem so natural and a matter of fact to go the normal way, like coming to university is a given. While others cannot even reply when asked what’re they going to pursue after a diploma. I’m not saying that its a bad thing to be happy-go-lucky, yet it rlly made me wonder what would happen to me if i took another path. As a friend, im naturally worried for their future, i hope they all succeed in and love the things in future and i hope they find themselves some direction soon. Nevertheless, having their company these years had just been plain awesome. They’re the kind of friends that will stay for a long time and i know it. We dont lose things to say even when we havent seen each other for a while and are all caught up with our own stuff. I love these kind of friendships.

“Best friends are exclusive” That got me thinking too, just exactly why are we so possessive. Being possessive of a partney is understandable, but friends? I know that we all will move on and find new poeple that we can clique with, some more than others. I believe if you can really connect to someone, it doesnt matter if she has 10 other best friends. As long as she is with you while you need her, she still makes an effort to catch up with you and care about you, that would suffice. Superficial friendships? I have plenty, they come and go. Sometimes i wonder why i dwell so much into these things. Shouldnt we just let it flow, i mean shouldnt it all come naturally? What will come, will come. Recently I’ve had so much issues on my hand, and i thought i rlly need to manage my time. So i guess thats why i thought a lot about it. I just wonder who i should go out with and spend time socializing. I dont have all the time in the world, i have limited freedom still, sadly.

I am an introvet. It really sucks when you have the barrier within you. Sometimes you have so much to say, its just that whenever you finally got the courage to voice it, its always too late. New year resolutions this year was to be more spontaneous, i really want to achieve it. NTS: Please learn how to be more comfortable with new people. Speak up, cause if you dont people will just think that you have no substance. Dont say socially awkward stuff. Just be yourself, except that your thoughts must now be heard.

I have a lot of material wants, yet im limited in my own ways. Been negotiating for monthly allowance. I hate that im always cash strapped and waiting for my allowance that sometimes never came. I hate not being able to manage my own finances because it isnt even regular enough for me to make my own planning. I cannot even save up for a new dress, or some clubbing nights. Oh wait, I dont even have the freedom to stay out late. I just hate this restriction so badly. If i dont live life like i want now, then i will NEVER live life because i’ll never get the craving to when im older. People always want things more badly because they cannot get it right?

I still miss you. I bet you stalk me back like how i do to you. Seems like you’re really enjoying yourself and im glad about that. I genuinely hope you find somebody more deserving of your love than i do. xx

There, thats all i’ve been thinking.

I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY SHELL, NOW.

I have so much negativity recently, I need positivity. I need positivity. I need positivity.

Quick

I shouldnt be here, but its just that on nights like these, the emptiness feeling is the strongest.

NTS: Expect nothing, because things will only happen when you expect it the least. Stop being bitter about everything. Everybody leads different lives. Some lives it rich, other not so. Dont be jealous of what other poeple have that you dont. You work for the stuff that you want because you’re not lucky enough to have it dropped from the sky. And get only worthy pieces. Dont make anymore regretful decisions. Be spontaneous. Dont bother entertaining so many people. What for? Inflence, popoularity? These doesnt last so forget it. Befriend people who’d stay, and make an effort to make them stay. WHETHER OF NOT YOU LEAD A HAPPY LIFE ALL BOILS DOWN TO YOU, ALICIA.

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New year resolution this year.