I have a lot of thoughts, as usual.

Been meeting some friends more often lately and it really made me wonder why we lead our lives the way we are right now. And, on a sidenote also feel really thankful that we have crossed paths to meet each other this live. Well, for some it just seem so natural and a matter of fact to go the normal way, like coming to university is a given. While others cannot even reply when asked what’re they going to pursue after a diploma. I’m not saying that its a bad thing to be happy-go-lucky, yet it rlly made me wonder what would happen to me if i took another path. As a friend, im naturally worried for their future, i hope they all succeed in and love the things in future and i hope they find themselves some direction soon. Nevertheless, having their company these years had just been plain awesome. They’re the kind of friends that will stay for a long time and i know it. We dont lose things to say even when we havent seen each other for a while and are all caught up with our own stuff. I love these kind of friendships.

“Best friends are exclusive” That got me thinking too, just exactly why are we so possessive. Being possessive of a partney is understandable, but friends? I know that we all will move on and find new poeple that we can clique with, some more than others. I believe if you can really connect to someone, it doesnt matter if she has 10 other best friends. As long as she is with you while you need her, she still makes an effort to catch up with you and care about you, that would suffice. Superficial friendships? I have plenty, they come and go. Sometimes i wonder why i dwell so much into these things. Shouldnt we just let it flow, i mean shouldnt it all come naturally? What will come, will come. Recently I’ve had so much issues on my hand, and i thought i rlly need to manage my time. So i guess thats why i thought a lot about it. I just wonder who i should go out with and spend time socializing. I dont have all the time in the world, i have limited freedom still, sadly.

I am an introvet. It really sucks when you have the barrier within you. Sometimes you have so much to say, its just that whenever you finally got the courage to voice it, its always too late. New year resolutions this year was to be more spontaneous, i really want to achieve it. NTS: Please learn how to be more comfortable with new people. Speak up, cause if you dont people will just think that you have no substance. Dont say socially awkward stuff. Just be yourself, except that your thoughts must now be heard.

I have a lot of material wants, yet im limited in my own ways. Been negotiating for monthly allowance. I hate that im always cash strapped and waiting for my allowance that sometimes never came. I hate not being able to manage my own finances because it isnt even regular enough for me to make my own planning. I cannot even save up for a new dress, or some clubbing nights. Oh wait, I dont even have the freedom to stay out late. I just hate this restriction so badly. If i dont live life like i want now, then i will NEVER live life because i’ll never get the craving to when im older. People always want things more badly because they cannot get it right?

I still miss you. I bet you stalk me back like how i do to you. Seems like you’re really enjoying yourself and im glad about that. I genuinely hope you find somebody more deserving of your love than i do. xx

There, thats all i’ve been thinking.

I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY SHELL, NOW.

I have so much negativity recently, I need positivity. I need positivity. I need positivity.

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